For 39 years of my life, I have acted out of ignorance and unbelief, and God has been merciful to me.
Throughout the years, my family has been tremendously stressed and our relationships strained due to my alcoholism and addiction. At the root of our family, there is still an unbreakable foundation of love; a love that has persevered through tough and tragic events; a love for one another that has prevailed enough that I am blessed to have them here today. They are still 100% supportive of my efforts to change.
I also have a 9-year-old son. He slobbers a lot, he sheds profusely and has bad breath. His name is Bruno and yes he is a dog. He is a Boxer and has been my ultimate companion throughout the years. In the darkest days of hell on earth in my addiction; Bruno was always there to keep me company when I was alone, devastated, broken-hearted and confused at my life.
As a child, I always struggled with feelings of insecurity and anger. I was uncomfortable being me. I was a bit of a chubby kid and food was my comforter for many years. My father’s career was highly demanding and his success allowed our family to want for nothing.
My interests as a child and teenager were in music. I was a drum player and dabbled in piano. I did not have an interest in school and I was not a good student. My insecurities as a kid manifested themselves in a variety of dysfunctional behavior. Fighting, lying, manipulating and other acts of rebellion were defining characteristics of mine. At an early age, it became all about Steve.
I was baptized Catholic but church was rarely attended. By no means did I know the Lord. I loved a life based in ignorance and unbelief.
At age 15 I discovered alcohol and high school parties. There was an immediate relief and release that I enjoyed when consuming alcohol. I graduated high school and began community college. I soon discovered ecstasy, electronic dance music, and the Orlando and South Florida late night club scene. I traded my drums in for some turntables and began to pursue being a club DJ. Alcoholism and drug addiction ran rampant in my life. My life was full of chaos and drama.
In 1996 I was introduced to my first detox and subsequently Alcoholics Anonymous. For the next 17 years, I would endure a battle of sobriety and relapse.
When I wanted nothing to do with the Lord; He protected me and shielded me from great harm. When I was sober, His grace led me to many blessings. Sobriety without the Lord still afforded me good things in life. I completed college at the University of Missouri and graduated with academic honors.
I met and married a wonderful girl. I was blessed with a career in medical device sales. I bought a new home and the list goes on. I found my identity and self-worth in those things, and what I really found was that I was still lonely and empty. Instead of doing what would have been right and just for all the blessings I had, I did what I hate. In my adult years, alcoholism and drug addiction would send me to detox countless times, as well as numerous in-patient and outpatient treatment facilities. I have also had 2 suicide attempts. I lost everything on 3 separate occasions. Unbelievably I have never been arrested.
Never once, until Faith Farm, did I discover the Lord Jesus Christ and the Word of God. Having been given so many blessings from God in a life without recognizing Him, I am trying to imagine my life in sobriety with Him; worshipping Him, loving Him, seeking Him, and honoring Him with the way I live my life.